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There a several relationship deal breakers Iyanla Vanzant just won’t put up, and cheating is one of them. The spiritual healer, who is promoting the upcoming season of Fix My Life, spoke with our sister site and offered her perspective on the Kevin Hart scandal that continues to make headlines.

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“They say everybody makes mistakes. Perhaps the act of intimacy with someone outside of the relationship is a mistake, but the lie you tell to cover it up, that’s not a mistake; that’s conscious,” the author and inspirational teacher explained. “The mechanization that you go through to continue in this practice, that’s not a mistake; that’s conscious. Do I want to be with someone who can look in my face, lie to me, violate my trust and consciously demean themselves in order to continue this activity? Do I want to be with somebody like that?”

Vanzant delved into the layers of Kevin Hart’s cheating scandal and offered her opinion on an interview Torrei Hart did following the sex tape leak.

“Talking about your hurt is a very valuable process toward healing; talking publicly about your hurt in a way that damages someone else, that’s a different story,” Vanzant said when asked her thoughts on the matter. “I always say that the only thing that can destroy a relationship is within the relationship. Relationships are never destroyed from the outside in; they’re always destroyed from the inside out. Ex-Mrs. Hart obviously hasn’t healed; she hasn’t done her work.”

Vanzant questioned Torrei’s intentions for sharing their private information. “Is that about him or is that about her?” she said.

As far as Kevin’s role in all of this, Vanzant said,

“As far as he’s concerned, he said it, you got a target on your back brother, and you need to be a demonstration and a model for who you are as a Black man.”

She went on,

“This is what I ask men who cheat: Would you want somebody to do this to your mother or your daughter? And if you don’t want somebody to do it to your mother or your daughter, don’t do it, because the sins of the father befall the children. How would he feel if his daughter’s husband did this? Many men can’t speak to their son-in-laws about [cheating] because they do it. They deliver the same grief upon their daughters as they did upon their mothers, so that’s what I would offer all men, Kevin included.”

Read the full interview on


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Iyanla Vanzant Has A Word For Torrei Hart: You Have Work To Do  was originally published on