Sonja Warfield is the the author of the provocatively titled Big Fat Negro Get Your Lazy Ass Off My Couch, about a woman’s guide to getting rid of her deadbeat husband, boyfriend or boo thing of any ethnicity, though it appears she has some experience with men of the African-American persuasion, given the title. That was the story of her and her friends, but she says being trifling cuts across all racial lines.
“It could be a big drunk redneck who needs to get out of your double-wide,” Warfield says. “It could be a cold-blooded WASP who needs to get his flat ass off of your sofa. You can insert the ethnicity into the title.”
Warfield says she got sick of a culture that rewards women for being part of a couple, no matter how lacking in ambition or work ethic the male part of that couple might be.
“I was sick and tired of hearing about trifling men and the women who put up with their crap. In our society its better to be apart of a couple than to be alone,” Warfield says. ‘Women who have multiple degrees or degrees from Harvard still putting up with men who don’t treat them properly. We put up with it because its better to have the title of wife or girlfriend than to be alone. We got to stop putting up with it and ask for more.”
Warfield says there are some men come with their “D” game and that’s a problem. An example is when a man asks you out via text message.
“I’m not something you order on Amazon,” she says. “I’m a person. If you set those sort of precedents and standards, you’re going to settle for that D kind of behavior. If your child gets a “D” on a report card and they don’t have a learning disability you’re going to demand that he do better.”
Another example is men who stand you up. If that’s the behavior he’s leading with, he’s not interested in you – or worse, that’s his habitual way of dealing with people.
“We don’t have to send out Amber Alerts or put a face on a milk carton to search for a missing man,” says Warfield. “He’s not thinking of me, clearly, because he stood me up.”
Warfield says that a grass-roots movement is needed to stop this behavior and that she advocates women go on strike – by refusing to perform oral sex.
“My grandfather worked for Republic Steel. Sometimes they would have to go on strike to show the boss that they are valued, that they need to pay them more, that they need to treat them better,” says Warfield.
This needs to be, Warfield says, a national effort. We’ll see it it takes off.
Click the link above to hear the entire interview.
